“There’s a common misunderstanding among all the human beings who have ever been born on the earth that the best way to live is to try to avoid pain and just try to get comfortable.”Pema Chodron
For most of my life, I’ve had a fear of flying. I’m talking white knuckles and tears on take-off and landing. Every time the plane is on the runway I have to convince myself not to raise my hand and kindly ask them to turn around and let me off. When the wheels leave the ground I think to myself, “this is it, no turning back now.”
Of course, part of my fear of flying is about crashing, but it’s really about surrendering control. Once the plane takes off I have no control over what happens. For the next hour, two hours, eight hours, or however long it might be, I have nowhere to go but right into my fear and panic and learn how to breathe there.
While avoiding air travel altogether is tempting, it is just not realistic. When I put my fear of flying under the great universal microscope I see the deeper truth….
There is no way to control life so we avoid everything that scares us or brings us pain.
This truth is one of the biggest reasons people come to work with me. Pain is hard and not being able to control it or even make it go away is even harder.
My work is not to make your pain go away. It is to show you how extraordinarily brave you are. Bravery is the willingness to walk toward something that is challenging with courage and faith. I am here to hold space for you as you discover how to move, breathe, and sit in the presence of your experience and not give yourself an out, not turn the plane of your psyche around and get off, but choose to stay no matter what.
Staying makes you resilient. Breathing into your troubled marriage, your aching body, or your anxious restless mind and not trying to change it or make it different prepares you to walk down the jetway and board the plane, quit the job that is not serving you, or deal with the heartbreak of losing a loved one. It prepares you to meet life and all of the uncertainty with an awake and open heart.
I have had the privilege to bear witness to so many acts of bravery over the years. I see what it means to navigate this human experience, to dig deeper than the surface, and to show up even when we are afraid.
Someone recently shared with me how a session had helped her take responsibility for, and find a new way of being in a relationship. Learning to stay with her emotions and breathe had given her the strength to change the dialogue that wasn’t working. To me, it doesn’t get braver than that!
I promise you are braver and more resilient than you give yourself credit for. Asking for help when you need it is a courageous step. It would be my greatest honor to support you in navigating the challenges you may be facing right now.
I invite you to book a 15-minute consultation to see if I would be a good fit.