Pregnancy, birth, and early parenthood can shake a person to the core, regardless of gender. Certified perinatal mental health specialists at The Relationship Center of Hampton Roads work with men and partners every day who are struggling in silence.
When most people hear the phrase “perinatal mental health,” they picture a new mother. That image is understandable and incomplete. The emotional weight of becoming a parent, watching a partner go through pregnancy, navigating a difficult birth, or losing a pregnancy lands on men just as heavily as it does on women. It just tends to look different, go unnamed, and stay hidden far longer.
At The Relationship Center of Hampton Roads, our certified and experienced perinatal maternal mental health specialists provide care for the full picture of the perinatal experience, including fathers, non-birthing partners, and anyone navigating the emotional terrain of new parenthood.
What Is Perinatal Mental Health — And Who Does It Affect?
Perinatal mental health refers to the emotional and psychological wellbeing of individuals during pregnancy and the postpartum period (generally defined as the first year after birth). It includes conditions like:
• Perinatal depression and anxiety
• Postpartum PTSD, including birth trauma
• Perinatal OCD
• Grief following pregnancy loss, miscarriage, or infertility
• Adjustment disorders related to the transition to parenthood
Research consistently shows that approximately 1 in 10 men experience clinically significant depression or anxiety during the perinatal period. For partners of mothers who have postpartum depression, that number rises even higher. The biology is different; the suffering is not.
Why Men Often Go Undiagnosed and Untreated
Men’s perinatal mental health struggles are frequently missed, by healthcare providers, by loved ones, and by the men themselves. A few reasons why:
Symptoms present differently. While postpartum depression in women often looks like sadness and withdrawal, men are more likely to show irritability, anger, increased alcohol use, overworking, or emotional numbness. These are easy to attribute to stress or personality, not a treatable condition.
The focus stays on mom and baby. Postpartum check-ups, screening tools, and cultural conversations center on the birthing parent. Partners are often invisible in the clinical and emotional narrative of new parenthood.
Stigma runs deep. Many men internalize the message that their job is to be the strong one, the supporter, not the one who needs support. Asking for help can feel like a failure of that role, even when help is exactly what’s needed.
What Perinatal Mental Health Support for Men Looks Like at TRC
The Relationship Center of Hampton Roads is home to certified, experienced perinatal mental health specialists who understand that this work extends beyond the birthing parent. Whether you are a new father navigating an unexpected identity shift, a partner watching someone you love struggle, or a man grieving a loss that no one acknowledged as a loss, you deserve care that is informed, competent, and free of judgment.
Our work with men in the perinatal period includes individual therapy, couples therapy for partners navigating postpartum challenges together, and specialized intensives for those who need more focused, accelerated support. We serve clients in-person at our Williamsburg, East Beach (Norfolk), and Old Town Alexandria offices, and via telehealth across Virginia and New York.
“You don’t have to be the one giving birth to be deeply affected by it. If you are struggling, that is not weakness. It is information — and it points you toward support that works.”
Common Questions About Men and Postpartum Mental Health
Can men get postpartum depression? Yes. Paternal postpartum depression is a recognized and documented condition. It is underreported and underdiagnosed, but it is real.
What if my partner is the one with postpartum depression and I just feel burned out? Caregiver burnout, secondary trauma, and relational strain are all legitimate reasons to seek support. You do not have to have a formal diagnosis to benefit from therapy.
Does TRC work with same-sex couples and non-birthing parents? Absolutely. Our perinatal specialists work with all family configurations and recognize that the perinatal experience extends to anyone who is becoming a parent.
You Are Not Supposed to Do This Alone
Becoming a parent reshapes everything. Your relationship, your sense of self, your sleep, your emotional bandwidth, all of it. That kind of transformation deserves skilled, compassionate support. At The Relationship Center of Hampton Roads, we offer that support to the full range of people who need it, including men who have been told, implicitly or explicitly, that they should be fine.
If you are a new or expectant father struggling with anxiety, depression, anger, disconnection, or grief — or if you are simply trying to hold everything together and running low — we would like to talk with you. Schedule an appointment today!
Certified Perinatal Mental Health Specialists: Betsy Nicols, LPC, Ashlea Rapp, LCSW, Hailey Wilson, LCSW
