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It had to be more than a decade ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. Reading an article on a lazy Sunday about the future of smartphone technology and how researchers predicted it would impact us all. The image embedded depicted a couple sitting up in bed, separated, heads down, engrossed in their smart phones. At the time, the visual...

"There’s a common misunderstanding among all the human beings who have ever been born on the earth that the best way to live is to try to avoid pain and just try to get comfortable.” Pema Chodron For most of my life, I’ve had a fear of flying. I’m talking white knuckles and tears on take-off and landing. Every time the plane is on the runway I...

Sometimes the couples I work with want to know, “where are we in the therapy process?” The following description breaks down the roadmap for therapy. The work is not strictly linear. For ease of explanation, however, the process follows three stages. Within these stages, there are nine steps. ROADMAP FOR THERAPY: Stage 1 – Identifying and...

I'm excited to introduce you to the "Are you there for me?" quiz. I've heard of many couples, myself included, who spend several years in this space of "relationship limbo." It can be a slow torture to neither be moving forward and yet, not fully "in" the relationship either. Ironically, staying in that space is one of the most damaging if the...

Couples counseling of any type--and especially emotionally focused couples counseling--is a journey. We all want to know where we are going and what is going to happen. As in any journey there are flat tires, detours, and unexpected exits. Table of ContentsStage 1 of Emotionally Focused Couples Counseling – Identifying and Understanding Strengths...

Wondering how to regulate emotions in a roller coaster world? Feeling sad because of a recent news story? Angry at a coworker or friend? Frustrated, nervous, overwhelmed at the thought of COVID-19 and just trying to make it day-by-day? Maybe we're inexplicably joyful on a sunny Friday and more wistful on a cloudy Tuesday. Whatever the day,...

The root cause of most problems in any relationship, whether professional or personal, can be put down to misunderstandings that result from lack of communication. So call it a family meeting or a marriage meeting or any name you like…just do it!

I often have couples tell me that they want to use their insurance for couples therapy or have been to a couple’s therapist before and that therapist billed their insurance. So why don’t we as a practice? Stick with me here as I explain.

My heart rate went up just thinking about this situation. I have sat with many couples who have been there. I can talk about some of the “research” you have already heard such as half of US couples argue over finances (the latest statistic is 48%), 60% do not like their partner’s spending habits or a recent Kansas State University study found...