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Thanks to the shift in societal norms, the overall divorce rates have declined significantly in the last few decades. However, the so-called "gray divorce" rate has doubled for those over the age of 50. And for those over 60, well, it's tripled. What is a gray divorce? Gray divorce is essentially divorce after the age of 50. One reason for the...

For many, the stages of grief have long been considered the way that anyone encounters the loss of a loved one.  There is often an unexpected crash in caregiving, specifically in how the caregiver views self and the world. By allowing themselves to grieve, the caregiver can rebuild and restore their identity; their meaning (personal, spiritual,...

It had to be more than a decade ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. Reading an article on a lazy Sunday about the future of smartphone technology and how researchers predicted it would impact us all. The image embedded depicted a couple sitting up in bed, separated, heads down, engrossed in their smart phones. At the time, the visual...

"There’s a common misunderstanding among all the human beings who have ever been born on the earth that the best way to live is to try to avoid pain and just try to get comfortable.” Pema Chodron For most of my life, I’ve had a fear of flying. I’m talking white knuckles and tears on take-off and landing. Every time the plane is on the runway I...

Sometimes the couples I work with want to know, “where are we in the therapy process?” The following description breaks down the roadmap for therapy. The work is not strictly linear. For ease of explanation, however, the process follows three stages. Within these stages, there are nine steps. ROADMAP FOR THERAPY: Stage 1 – Identifying and...

I'm excited to introduce you to the "Are you there for me?" quiz. I've heard of many couples, myself included, who spend several years in this space of "relationship limbo." It can be a slow torture to neither be moving forward and yet, not fully "in" the relationship either. Ironically, staying in that space is one of the most damaging if the...

Couples counseling of any type--and especially emotionally focused couples counseling--is a journey. We all want to know where we are going and what is going to happen. As in any journey there are flat tires, detours, and unexpected exits. Table of ContentsStage 1 of Emotionally Focused Couples Counseling – Identifying and Understanding Strengths...

Wondering how to regulate emotions in a roller coaster world? Feeling sad because of a recent news story? Angry at a coworker or friend? Frustrated, nervous, overwhelmed at the thought of COVID-19 and just trying to make it day-by-day? Maybe we're inexplicably joyful on a sunny Friday and more wistful on a cloudy Tuesday. Whatever the day,...

The root cause of most problems in any relationship, whether professional or personal, can be put down to misunderstandings that result from lack of communication. So call it a family meeting or a marriage meeting or any name you like…just do it!